rants in sweatpants

babe

2012-02-02T14:52:00.000-07:00

say what you want, but these dudes make big hits. this track is so great

2012-01-21T15:43:00.001-07:00

fun track

2012-01-21T12:24:00.001-07:00

here's an intellectual, tangible and logical perspective on addiction and compulsive behavior

2012-01-19T15:41:00.001-07:00

you're so vain

2012-01-12T14:29:00.001-07:00

i miss london

2012-01-07T14:25:00.001-07:00

friday night, calm before the storm, chune

2012-01-06T18:27:00.001-07:00

restrospective, sad, wednesday chune

2012-01-04T15:27:00.003-07:00

This is one of my favorite songs of all time, actually maybe even albums. I always forget about it, and then somehow it reappears in my mind. I think I bought the CD from Megatunes about 5 times and for some reason would always lose it. This was also the very last show I saw at the Warehouse in what would have been like '06 or '07. Life has a funny way of going full circle, sitting in the old WH space listening to this. I remember that night so well; I was in full self-destruction, mental breakdown mode and did a lot of stuff I shouldn't have. I feel depressed today, like more down than I have in a while. The holidays are always kind of a shitty time. I don't know why. I find them stressful and get flooded with terrible memories and crappy feelings. This year, I just bottled it all up, had a great time and now I think it's all kind of hitting me at once, but I'm just going to listen to this and go to bed early. Seems like there's a better chance of tomorrow being better, if I don't do things I shouldn't.

monday chune

2012-01-02T14:52:00.001-07:00

uh, awesome!

2011-12-30T20:08:00.001-07:00

yea calgary! excited for this great show tonight

2011-12-28T14:51:00.002-07:00

i love forgetting about a song and then remembering it and it taking you back to a really amazing moment

2011-12-28T13:45:00.002-07:00

let's have a party

2011-12-27T13:27:00.001-07:00

send me, please

2011-12-26T13:38:00.001-07:00

merry christmas

2011-12-23T12:18:00.003-07:00

This year, I had no plans for Christmas, my family was all away doing their own thing and I was really excited about just taking two days to myself. I've been working a lot lately, and since I haven't had a day off since September, I was really wanting to just be by myself. No gift exchanges, no big dinners, just me. The NBA season starts on Christmas day, so I couldn't have thought of a better way to spend my first day off in months.

My family doesn't really exchange presents, I've got no girlfriend, no secret santa friends, so I went and bought my nephew a really big gift, and then bought myself a new tattoo (uh guys, I kind of can't stop right now, maybe that's another blog post?) and my plan for a single, curmudgeon Christmas was all set. So I thought.

In the last few days, I've realized how totally and utterly selfish of me that was. I'm really, really trying to be a better person each day. I've made a lot of mistakes in my life, but rather than continue to rationalize those, it's important to be retrospective and astute to what's going on around me.

I've gotten some really great gifts from people I didn't expect to get them from. I've gotten some fantastic emails from some really great people wishing me a Merry Christmas. I've gotten dinner invitations, party invitations, holiday trips to the strip club invitations, and it's made me realize how great everyone and everything around me actually is (although the strip club isn't very great, just sayin).

I don't know what I'm trying to say here. I think it's that I feel like an idiot for wanting to have some selfish Christmas to myself. Maybe I've just figured out what Christmas is really all about. Spend it smoking weed with some homeless dudes, spend it with your family, spend it with friends, do whatever you feel, but it's just a time to be happy, have happy times, be with other people and do good things. It's not about sitting at home watching basketball, and I'm not going to sit at home and watch basketball.

I'm not going to be selfish on Christmas ever again, you guys.

Also, this fucking iPad rules. Love you Santa!

this rules

2011-12-08T12:10:00.000-07:00

he's so fine

2011-12-07T11:55:00.000-07:00

wow. this is kind of cool

2011-12-02T13:23:00.000-07:00

i like this chune

2011-11-30T19:50:00.001-07:00

i wanna watch this now now

2011-11-26T02:58:00.001-07:00

Girl & Chocolate Trailer from Crailtap on Vimeo.

ah, what a guily pleasure

2011-11-25T02:29:00.001-07:00

yes!

2011-11-22T22:19:00.001-07:00

I just posted about how much I love New York, and then I found this. It's the greatest thing to happen to bed time ever. Three hours in, 12 hours of YouTube to go.

this was my fav jam in 03, not sure why, i don't even know what they're saying. just remembered it. made me smile

2011-11-21T00:34:00.001-07:00

this song makes me want to move back to London and be 21 and party everyday

2011-11-19T11:18:00.001-07:00

this makes me want to run through a brick wall with excitment

2011-11-18T11:41:00.001-07:00

this makes me feel like it will be summer tomorrow

2011-11-16T23:23:00.001-07:00

i've got to go

2011-11-14T21:52:00.001-07:00

American Juggalo from Sean Dunne on Vimeo.

i'm here

2011-11-14T00:19:00.002-07:00

http://www.imheremovie.com/

saturday night pre-night chune

2011-11-12T19:31:00.000-07:00

night night

2011-11-12T03:05:00.005-07:00

My brother made a mix CD to give away at his wedding. I didn't really listen to it for a bit, and then one night I randomly decided to play it. The whole CD was fantastic, but one song stood out. It was real good, and I started listening to it a lot. I have a tendency to over listen to songs when I like them. So after a bit I stopped listening. Then, a few weeks later I went over to a friends house for dinner, and we ate good chicken and this song came on in the background, and it made me happy. Three of my most favorite people in the world really like this song, and that makes me like it so much more.

Also tonight (I'm not drunk, just overly tired. Also, if this is boring you can just skip to the YouTube clip below) I saw this girl I haven't seen in a while. I've known her for a little bit. One night we made out. She stayed over at my house and we went and had a funny breakfast. I asked her out again a few days later, she said yes, but ended up completely ditching me. As far as looks go, she's far out of my league. Mega-babe. Mega. We're Facebook/Twitter friends and she is really bizarre. She also suffers from major depression and unapologeticlly posts hilarious tweets about it. I really like her. I'm attracted to her because a) she's completely not interested in me and b) she's so entirely comfortable with being unhappy and c) fuck, you should see her, so hot.

I'm a masochist. I like girls that don't like me. I talked to my ex today too, who I sincerely and dearly miss. Today was a good day, I think. I can't figure out if she talked to me because she wanted to or because she thought it's what I wanted to hear, but either way it made me happy. I know I fucked that up so bad. I think I sabotaged it because it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I have a propensity to ruin good things. I'm working hard to fix that.

I don't know what life is going to bring me next. I'm pretty superstitious, and today is 11.11.11. I set my alarm for 11:11 tonight and made a wish that I'd get to have pillow giggles with a hot babe forever. You're not supposed to tell people what you wish for, but no one reads this, and I haven't had pillow giggles in so long I've given up hope.

Maybe the depressed babe that ain't into me will change her mind. Maybe someday my ex will forgive me for being an utterly unforgivable asshole, maybe there's other babes that will be into me. Maybe I'll always be single. Maybe the Blue Jays will win the World Series. At least one thing is for certain, the Flames fucking suck.

this is what i remember

2011-11-11T12:38:00.003-07:00

I really like remembrance day. I'm hungover, so perhaps I'm slightly more sentimental than usual, but I've always really like November 11th. It reminds me of my grandfather. He fought in World War II, I think the term 'fought' is a little loose, he was a mechanic, but from what I knew of him, I'm pretty sure those were the happiest days of his life. When I was 12 my grandfather and I went to Europe together for 6 weeks. I think we really bonded on that trip, and it made me realize how important his time in Europe during the war was to him. We met up with all of his old friends, and they drank a lot of gin and told me really funny stories. They made me be their personal bartender.

A few years later, my grandfather moved in with my dad and I. Those were weird times. My parents had just gotten divorced, and my brothers all moved away to start university and do their own thing. In hindsight, I can imagine how difficult this was for my pops. He was a little distant and didn't spend much time with us, I don't mean that in a bad way, he was just struggling to figure his own shit out, but what that did is leave time for me and my grandpa to hang out. He loved smoking cigarettes and playing crib. We used to play hours of crib together everyday. I wasn't allowed to go to bed until we played best 2 out of 3. And if I messed up counting my points, we'd have to start the game over.

During one of those crib games, he said to me "I want to show you something" and he went into an old box he had and pulled out a zippo lighter. He told me a great story. He had gotten that lighter for his 13th birthday and had used it through the war, through his adult life and had never lost it. It meant a lot to him. It was really cool too. All dented, worn, discolored, 50 years old!

The only time I've ever seen my father cry was when he told me my grandfather had died. During that conversation, he asked me if I wanted any of his belongings. My uncle, cousins, brothers were all dividing up his stuff. Couches, TVs etc, but all I wanted was his zippo. I wanted to keep it for 50 more years. I wanted to pass it to my kids. Turns out my dad couldn't find his zippo. No one knows what happened to it. Part of me hopes it's in his suit pocket that he's buried in. I just hope it didn't turn up in some dumpster.

This all seems sad, but it has a happy ending. When my dad told me he couldn't find the zippo, he told me he wanted me to have something else instead and he gave me my grandfathers war metals. He wore those every single remembrance day and went to the legion to play crib. I have them hanging on my wall now. They're the first thing I hang up when I move to a new place, and I'll have them for the rest of my life. When I have kids someday, I'll pass them along and make sure they're hung in their own apartments.

I'm going to go have lunch at the legion right now. Hopefully someone is up for a game of crib and I count my cards right.

thursday chune

2011-11-10T12:55:00.001-07:00

tonight's songs, all bands/fav performances from '11 sled

2011-11-08T00:20:00.003-07:00

night night, weekend

2011-11-07T02:47:00.001-07:00

2011-11-05T15:25:00.005-06:00

One of my clearest memories from elementary school was reading Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing. I don't really remember what the book was about, but I remember that is was set in New York City. At that point, I fell in love with New York. I've always had a weird obsession with the city and learning as much as I can about it. Getting the chance to go was amazing, and I'm now planning a second visit next spring. That said, I remember 10 year old me telling my mom that I wanted to move there and she said we couldn't do that, but she let me take the next day off of school and she took me downtown for the day. I really don't think that was my first trip downtown, but when I look back on it, it feels like it was. We went to museums, shopped and had lunch at some cafe that's probably closed, and it's really one of my best memories ever. I love my mom for doing that. Like I said, I don't remember that much, but I do remember that my mom played a Dionne Warwick album while we were driving, and it was raining. I love rainy days in big cities.

I'm listening to Dionne Warwick now and going to go downtown, have lunch by myself and read the paper. Little things get you by. This is one of my favs. Everything is going to be okay.

this keeps me happy

2011-11-05T14:52:00.001-06:00

GFM Vol 1 | Modern Vintage | Saturdays @ Commonwealth Bar by Commonwealth Bar

ignition

2011-11-04T04:26:00.000-06:00

downtown afternoon chune

2011-11-02T18:04:00.001-06:00

days

2011-11-02T11:29:00.003-06:00

night night

2011-11-01T01:11:00.004-06:00

I probably hear 'Pumped Up Kicks' about five times a day and really really want to hate it, but I can't it. It's actually a pretty catchy, well written song (lyrics aside). I actually heard more of their album and they don't totally suck. I kind of feel the same about Adele, I don't want to like her, but she's so insanely talented. Actually, whatever, I love her. This song/performance kills me. Kills me. I swear if I ever find the guy that broke Adele's heart this bad, I'd hurt him real bad.

2011-10-31T02:20:00.002-06:00

I remember a Sunday afternoon more than two years ago when I came to the realization that in order to be entirely comfortable in my own life, I could never work a 9-5 job. It feels amazing to not have Sunday night anxiety anymore. I no longer dread Sundays. I can stay up late and make snacks without fear of having to be at work promptly at 8:30 to have awkward conversation with middle aged men in khakis about what work they got done around the house over the weekend. So dudes, I'm eating baby bells and apples and watching old music videos on youtube, and well, it doesn't fucking matter. Feels real nice.

keep the the same theme as last night

2011-10-20T23:53:00.000-06:00

wowza

2011-10-20T00:01:00.001-06:00

thinking about someone you really miss but can can't tell them or anyone else that you really miss them kind of music, music

2011-10-06T23:08:00.004-06:00

SHOULDA WENT TO NORTHFOLK STATE

2011-10-04T13:59:00.000-06:00

art thoughtz-live

2011-09-27T22:06:00.001-06:00

i used to love the supersonics

2011-09-26T22:41:00.002-06:00

I once tried to read a Malcolm Gladwell book and got bored after a few chapters. It was a few years ago and I can't remember what I didn't like about it, but it didn't hold my interest. I know Gawker has had a lot to say about him and maybe I went in with a closed mind. I also regularly read Bill Simmons. If you don't know who he is, you're lucky. He's a sportswriter who's insanely popular even though he writes 5000 word blog posts about buying season tickets and creates insane analogies to prove a point that makes zero sense (the current AL MVP race is NOTHING like a home alarm system, Bill).

But, amazingly enough these two have combined to create a new sports website, Grantland that is utterly fantastic. It's really becoming the best place on the internet for good sports commentary. This weekend I watched a documentary on the Supersonics departure from Seattle, and today I came across this article Gladwell wrote (look how cool Jay-Z is; he's like 'I don't need to wear my hard hat straight or look at the camera'). I've written here before about this, but anyone that thinks for a second that athletes are overpaid and selfish, you need to educate yourself. (Athletes are overpaid in comparison to say, teachers. But, they are exploited by extremely wealthy men, and until the scales are balanced, I entirely support them earning what is rightfully theirs). Sports is a microcosm of global economics and both these stories personify the current disparity in wealth that is increasingly so detrimental.

here's a cool project from someone cooler than you

2011-09-26T10:23:00.000-06:00

Raphael Saadiq "GOOD MAN" from Isaiah Seret on Vimeo.

this is good

2011-09-19T21:27:00.001-06:00

interesting, Landsberg

2011-09-13T19:10:00.005-06:00

Last week sometime, I posted this article that Rob Delaney had written and have been encouraging more people to read it. If you still haven't, please do. I've suffered from depression myself for what seems like an exorbitant amount of time and there's intense comfort in knowing that others go through the same battles (and referring to it as a battle is probably the best possible adjective).

I've really had to come to terms with mental illness over the past 14 months or so. There's no doubt it was an issue before that, but the past year and a bit has been a time of reluctant acceptance. I've tried to will it away, ignore it, distance myself from him, drown it in booze and none of have worked.

I'm in a midst of a five year battle with anti-depressants. There's conflicted theories from doctors that you can go on medication for a period of time (say six months to a year) and then remove yourself. There's others that believe once you begin, you should stay on it, forever. I always hoped for the former. I never wanted to be on medication. Wrapping your head around the fact that you'll be on mood altering medication for an extended period of time is an insanely daunting thought. What does this say about me? What's wrong with me? Am I weak? Everyone else is more stable than me? But, just as bad as the psychological confusion are the physical side effects. I won't go into detail. You'd be shocked.

So, close to a year ago I decided that it was essential for me to stay on medication in order to live the happiest, most productive life possible. Physical side effects subsided (slightly) and the act of taking medication became something I just did daily without thinking of the negative connotations. I had lapses where I didn't take meds for a few days. There's varying reasons, from I forgot to I wanted a brief relief from the side effects. But every time, I'd catch myself slipping and falling into a sea of loneliness.

Coincidentally, a few weeks ago, I had gone about five days without taking medication before leaving for a week long trip. My flight was really early in the morning and packing in a hurry, I forgot to bring my medication. It occurred to me the second the plane took off and I imagined it crashing and not caring. That's no exaggeration. I was entirely ambivalent to the the thought of those being my last minutes. That's how severe depression can be.

As it works out, I went an entire 10 days, and had slipped into a place I hadn't been for a while. During that time, Wade Belak killed himself. While reading about it, it snapped me out of it. It made me realize I had to figure out how to get through the trip and get back to my medication. I've slowly been easing myself back onto them but it's been horrible. When I got home I spent an entire day in my bed laying face down with the lights turned off, no TV, no computer no phone. An entire day. Paralyzed in a mental jail. If you've never experienced it, you'll never understand. I'm coming around day by day. I still have terrible, terrible nightmares. My first thought in the morning is how much I've screwed up my life. I want to cry. I want to go back to sleep and not wake up. But I do it. I'll take medication, and this will pass.

With all of the incidents in the NHL this summer, there's been a lot more attention brought to depression and mental illness in general. This is not a disease that is a result of too many NHL fights. This is not an enforcers disease. These people are killing themselves because in their eyes it's their only alternative. Truthfully, I kind of understand it. Without being in their shoes you can never, ever understand what that thought process is like. Killing yourself seems like the best possible solution. But it isn't. I hope this teaches people that you need to get help.

Today I read this piece written by Michael Landsberg of TSN. Let me first say, that as a massive sports fan, I'll immediately change the channel if Landsberg is on. There's nothing about the guy I like. Until today. Today I found out he's in the same club as me.

Today, when I got out of bed, my first thought to myself was "how are you going to do this everyday for the rest of your life?" I don't know the answer to that question. I wish I did. But what I am going to do is try and figure it out. I thank Michael Landsberg and Rob Delaney, and everyone else that is writing about this right now. I appreciate that it's being discussed. Maybe, somehow, we can all figure it out together.

Please read this. It's no 'I Have a Dream' speech, but it means a lot to me. This line rings so loud to me it's frightening "....but I know this; when you're severely depressed, logic can become fallacy and fallacy can become reality"

http://www.tsn.ca/nhl/story/?id=375694

running out of fools

2011-09-12T22:56:00.001-06:00

time capsule; 2001

2011-09-12T20:01:00.002-06:00

Just discovered this on youtube. Also celebrating it's 10 year anniversary. Just keep watching.

09/11/11

2011-09-11T22:16:00.007-06:00

Earlier today I sent out this out via twitter http://twitter.com/#!/bigbuddycolin/status/112929391838900226. I think in some regard it can be seen as cheeky or poking fun of today, but it's not how I intended it. 10 years ago today, I did buy a new sweater; I was living in London England and had just gotten my first pay cheque and it was my first day off from my new job. Because I'd been traveling around Europe previously, I didn't bring fall clothes and actually really needed it. I bought a few other things, met a friend for lunch and took the subway back to meet another friend for some pints near where we both lived. I walked into the pub and sat at the bar with him. We talked about our mornings, and I showed him this new sweater and I mentioned how I didn't think I really liked it and was thinking about going back to return it if he wanted to join. Just about at this time, someone came into the pub and told the bartender to quickly change the television to the news.

This was just minutes after the first plane had hit, and we both just sat there in silence watching the news roll in until the second plane hit. We watched it live. It was about 2:45 in the afternoon and London had come to a complete stop. The bar was now completely full with every type of person you could imagine standing shoulder to shoulder in silence. Turns out, my friend I was meeting for that pint, was from New York City. Although he lived in Brooklyn, his brother worked in the financial district near the World Trade Centers. There's more to this story, about how we spent the next few hours trying with no luck to get through to his parents, or how he spent the next week and a bit stuck in London being a complete and utter mess, but all of that is a little foggy now. What I remember the most was about 30 minutes after the second plane hit, was him and I sitting in silence until I glanced over at him and he was in tears. The new sweater I had bought was still sitting on the bar. I never returned the sweater. In fact I never even wore it or took it home. I remember putting the bag below my feet and leaving it at the pub. I'm still not sure why I did it, but I never wanted to see it again. I couldn't have predicted what was going to happen, but I kind of hated myself for being so concerned about a sweater moments before so many people died.

I think this is kind of just babble, but I always kind of struggle with this day. It was so huge. I was 22 years old, living overseas, having the time of my life. As cliche as it may sound, I changed that day (as I'm sure everyone did). I remember just wanting to call my parents. It was so instinctive. I went from being brash, entirely selfish and independent to needing my parents.

Not only does today mark the 10 year anniversary of what is probably going to be one of the most historical days of our lifetime, but it also clearly marks a 10 year point so vivid in everyone's imagination. Two years from now, on October 16th, I'm not going to be thinking what I did on October 16th 2003. That ten year gap holds no relevance. But on a day like today, I can so clearly look back and remember who I was. I can remember my thoughts. I can remember what I wanted and where I saw myself going. Although that day changed so much, for so many people, historical dates hold so much more significance. It feels like you can reach back in time and touch yourself. It's for that reason I can't watch any of the memorials on tv. I'm sure each and everyone there has the same ability has me to recount their emotions, and to people more closely entwined with the events, I can't imagine what that must feel like for them. I can try imagining for about 8 seconds before I can feel tears.

2011-09-05T16:55:00.003-06:00

It's really important to me that if you read this blog, that you read this blog post.

http://robdelaney.tumblr.com/post/414007899/on-depression-getting-help

2011-08-15T22:11:00.000-06:00

holy shit

2011-08-01T23:24:00.001-06:00

cut my hair

2011-07-27T23:22:00.003-06:00

Part of the reason I chose to live where I do was its proximity to the river. Not really surprising, but it took me four months to actually take advantage of it. I haven't been drinking lately and instead of being bored at home, I go out and explore Calgary's path system. It's amazingly intricate and I totally didn't realize the magnitude of it. I get really excited to go every night. It's nice to listen to music and just walk around. I even bought an umbrella for rainy nights. I spent close to a hour choosing my umbrella. I actually think that may be a separate post. It's a good one though. I also need to find cheap ways to entertain myself, not having worked in almost 10 weeks.

Enjoy this. I've been posting so much CVG, but his music has really turned into the soundtrack of my summer. And I'm having one of my best summers in a really long time.

this is, by all accounts, the best thing ever

2011-07-18T00:00:00.001-06:00

While I don't read Deadspin as much as I used to, and frankly don't much care for it, I have to hand it to them on this one. I threw a no hitter wasted a few weeks back and may have been one of the best accomplishments of my life.

http://deadspin.com/5812384/the-electric-dock-ellis-acid-test-an-attempt-to-recreate-his-drug+addled-no+hitter-on-xbox

Acid No Hitter 06 from source/record on Vimeo.

more chunes

2011-07-11T10:54:00.002-06:00

stampede photo blog day 2 & 3

2011-07-11T10:46:00.004-06:00

stampede photo blog day 1

2011-07-09T08:12:00.003-06:00

early saturday morning chunes

2011-07-09T08:06:00.000-06:00

my retainer

2011-07-06T23:57:00.003-06:00

Today was a weird day. It should have been great. I did some fun things, built some cool stuff with actually bricks and mortar (which I've secretly waited my whole life for) but I spent the whole day being super bummed. Stampede's coming up, but rather than be excited, I just feel really anxious. Stampede doesn't feel as comfortable as it used to, and I'm not sure I really enjoy it. Part of me wants to leave the city, but I get anxious being away from Calgary past 4:30 in the afternoon. Then I also realized that even if I could suppress that anxiety, I couldn't afford to leave because I don't have a job, and the anxiety around that is ridiculous.

I'm not always anxious. Relationships and perceived opinions of myself are the foundation for all my core beliefs, and sometimes when I crack that, it sort of vibrates through everything else. This is the second straight year where a series of events the weekend previous to Stampede has cast an ominous cloud over the pending greatest outdoor show on earth. Maybe it's too much stimulation. Maybe it's the feeling that there's always a party I'm missing. I don't know what it is, but I'm terrified.

Lately, when I feel really shitty, baseball has an amazingly soothing effect. I could write an entire book on why, but it's really a remarkable distraction for me. Tonight I didn't watch any baseball and I was bummed about that. But, I was super excited to catch the end of Parenthood right at this scene. I thought it was kind of fitting and helped put everything in a bit of perspective. I fucking love Parenthood. I kind of want to be Gil Buckman.

Anyways. This makes no sense, probably. But I'm trying to find a way to sleep, and maybe this will help. I'm also trying to find some enthusiasm for Stampede. I love the chuckwagons and would love to be able to watch something for longer than 10 minutes without being irrationally worried about whatever it is I constantly irrationally worry about. Maybe I'm more like Kevin Buckman.

I posted this song before, but I'm listening on repeat. I really really like this song.

institutional critique

2011-07-04T13:18:00.000-06:00

it's over

2011-06-26T23:38:00.003-06:00

While I sit in my dark cold basement re-living the past four days of intense Sled Islanding, it's ending has left me with mixed emotions. I certainly don't have the stamina or current mental health to continue at the pace I set for myself, so thankfully there's no more parties and no more beer to consume. But on the other hand, I'm incredibly sad to see it end.

I love the Calgary Stampede, I love the Calgary Flames, I enjoy going to the Folk Fest and Stampeders games and lots of other great stuff Calgary has to offer. But these past four days validate a new and expanding feeling that our city is changing for the better. That Calgary isn't defined by the arbitrarily assigned tag line "Heart of the New West". We still embrace our roots, but there's a new younger core of Calgarians that want to diversify what the city has to offer.

This festival has brought together so many great people to invest in a concept that totally departs from traditional Calgary events. This year, more than ever, it really had a vibe that there was larger buy in on so many different levels. From fans taking in the music, to City Hall's cooperation, an enormous army of volunteers, and some members of corporate Calgary (who's bank accounts will hopefully help sustain its growth).

I'm so immensely proud that I was part of this process. It's becoming increasingly apparent to me that community investment is extremely important. So many people leave Calgary because they don't like it (for whatever reason). To be honest, there's things about Calgary I don't particularly like, but I don't think any person has the right to criticize aspects of their community if they're not willing to try and contribute to its improvement.

I'm sitting here tonight recounting all of the amazing shows I saw this week. I don't even know where to start because there were so many. So so many. I thank Sled Island for reminding that live music is so great. I had forgotten that for a long time, but I'm now completely passionate about it again. But as I was trying to think about my favorite memory from the festival, it occurred to me that it's not even a band or show, it was all of the conversations and people I saw this week. It's great to hear people talk about improving Calgary. It's fantastic to see so many enjoy the festival, whether it was their fifth year coming or their first.

I hope Sled Island stays as a Calgary institution. I hope it flourishes so it can grow and evolve just like our City is.

See you next year Sled Island. I'm terrified for my boozemares tonight, but it's entirely worth it.

Here's some links to Sled articles/videos that accurately describe and personify the festival.

Lifetime Video Zine: Day One
Lifetime Video Zine: Day Two & Three
Calgary Herald-Inclusive and challenging, Sled Island comes into its own
Calgary Herald-Wrapping up Sled Island, or; what the hell did I just read about Mrs. Brady?
The Luyas at The Distillery
Sleep at the Main Stage
Dum Dum Girls at The Distillery God, they're such babes.

answer to yourself

2011-06-17T23:35:00.002-06:00

yonkers

2011-06-17T18:10:00.001-06:00

moneyball

2011-06-17T13:45:00.002-06:00

Someone in Hollywood decided to take a book about baseball numbers and turn it into a movie, which is so fucking bizarre. Moneyball is one of my favorite books of all time, but it's a non-fiction depiction of baseball heads thinking outside of the box. How this turned into a movie with Brad Pitt I'll never figure out. You can tell from the trailer that it's completely inaccurate from what actually happened and the movie is going to be terrible. I'll be there opening night.

tonight is big

2011-06-15T12:31:00.006-06:00

During the Stanley Cup playoffs in 1994 I was 14 going on 15. At the time I was totally ambivalent to the Vancouver Canucks, they had never registered on my radar as a pro-sports team I should give a shit about. I had previously been living in the States so was far more concerned with baseball and basketball. The Toronto Blue Jays had just won back-to-back World Series and the Bulls had just finished their first three-peat (1990-1993). Before the Stanley Cup Playoffs started, Micheal Jordan had retired. At 14 years old; this was the first time in my life I can remember being utterly devastated.

Having just returned to Canada and totally demoralized with MJ's decision to leave basketball, I decided to return to being a Calgary Flames Super Fan. At the time, we were living just outside of Vancouver, so I was the only kid in the entire school that wore Flames t-shirts in gym class. It didn't really matter though, no one said anything; until the Canucks met the Flames in the first round of the playoffs.

In 1994 the Flames were on the downturn from their Stanley Cup in 1989, they'd only go on to make the playoffs in '95 and '96 before taking a 8 year playoff hiatus, but none of that mattered. I was the one kid in the school that was born in Calgary and they had my unconditional support for the first round series against the Canucks.

During that series sometime, and while wearing a Flames t-shirt, I had forgotten my biology textbook in my locker at the opposite end of the school. My teacher sent me back to get it and I began the walk down a really long corridor. As I started walking, I heard some voices say "there's the little Flames fan" and I turned around to see two 12th graders begin to run after me. I bolted as fast as I could and made it about 5 steps before falling flat on my face. They promptly got on top of me and punched me until I couldn't feel my legs and arms trying to get me to say 'go Canucks' (in all fairness, they were friends of my brothers so it wasn't a proper beating, more of just bullying). From that day forward, I fucking hated the Canucks.

The Flames would go onto to lose to the Canucks in a heart breaking triple overtime game 7 loss. I decided at that point, I would cheer for any team playing the Canucks. During the rest of the playoffs the hazing continued. When they made the finals against the Rangers, I made my mom buy me a Rangers t-shirt and I wore it to school on every single game day. After the Rangers beat them in game 7, I got to school and my locker was completely covered in duct tape. They had written 'Fuck Calgary' and 'Flames Suck' all over it and I had to get the janitor to help me open it. Truthfully, none of this bothered me. It felt good to see the Canucks lose.

Over the past 17 years, I've had countless run-ins with Canucks fans. From tree-planting in BC, to living in Victoria, to spending time in Fernie, but most of all at the Saddledome. I find them to be the most obnoxious and entitled fan-base in hockey. They get on my nerves in a matter of seconds. I know some good Canucks fans too, but I have trouble considering any of them ideal friends.

Rivalry is part of sports. In the Champions League final a few weeks ago, I find it hard to believe that any Manchester City or Arsenal fans were cheering for Manchester Untied to beat Barcelona or Madrid fans cheering for Barcelona because they're from the same country. Same goes for Chicago Cubs fans when the Chicago White Sox were playing in the World Series. It's just not how it works. For Canadians to feel that we should be united because hockey is 'our' game is beyond ridiculous. The Vancouver Canucks are the Calgary Flames biggest rival, and I won't ever forget that or concede that.

Tonight the Vancouver Canucks have a legitimate shot at winning their first ever Stanley Cup. That prospect terrifies me beyond belief. If they do win, part of me will change. Canucks fans stench of entitlement will increase, and the Saddledome will be a more volatile place next season.

Tonight I'm cheering for the Boston Bruins as hard as I possibly can. A Boston win is as good as a Flames victory to me. Frankly, if you don't understand that, you don't understand sports.

Flames for life.

can someone help me put one of these together

2011-06-13T11:42:00.001-06:00

ART THOUGHTZ

2011-06-06T23:12:00.001-06:00

2011-06-06T07:47:00.003-06:00

"My job consists of basically masking my contempt for the assholes in charge, and, at least once a day, retiring to the men's room so I can jerk off while I fantasize about a life that doesn't so closely resemble Hell."

please, please, please

2011-06-02T13:16:00.000-06:00

2011-06-02T00:14:00.002-06:00

When I was in 12th grade, I decided to play volleyball to get in better shape for basketball season. I wasn't especially good, but had played in junior high and had a pretty good understanding of how to play. We had one player on our team who was insanely good and would later go on to play in university. We had a terrible coach. Her game plan was to set the ball to the good player on every play and let him smash it. Problem was, after two plays the other team figured it out and they'd just send three people to block him on every hit, and it worked. We had lost all of our games, and in our sixth or seventh game, everything was going the same. Set to good player, good player smashed it, good player gets blocked. The other team called a time out and our coach said just to keep going as planned. I made a comment that perhaps by switching to another player, we would throw off their defensive strategy and may be able to get some points. Now, I should mention this coach and I had a bit of history, it's too long to go into detail, but we didn't like each other. Rather than consider my suggestion she told me I was out of the game and was done for the night. But then, instead of taking it and sitting on the bench, I took my jersey off, politely handed it to her and walked across the gymnasium shirtless in front of all the parents, went to my locker and caught the number 9 home.

I remember at the time sitting on the bus thinking how it was no big deal, and how I thought what I had done was justified. The next morning I was pulled out of first period class and was brought into the athletic director's office. At this point, my life revolved around basketball. It was everything to me, and being in grade 12, I had a legitimate chance at both Canadian and small American university scholarships. At that meeting, I was told I was no longer welcome to participate in any more high school's athletic teams (basketball) unless I participated in anger management courses.

My solution was to transfer high schools in time for basketball season and not worry about it, but that didn't go over to well with my dad. Instead, I went to one anger management session with a guidance counselor and somehow after that meeting, I was reinstated into the athletic program.

Today, the reality of my decision to leave my job hit home. I have recently been working on some side projects that brought in some income on the side, but today, those deals fell through. It's not devastating, but it increases the urgency of finding new work a little.

I really sat down and thought about my decision making process today. I still think I was justified in thinking it was a shitty environment. I was underpaid, overworked, disrespected, overly-scrutinized and taken advantage of. But the cold reality is people deal with those same things every day.

I don't know what the solution is. I think these two events are eerily similar, and the fact that they're 14 years removed from each other makes me think I haven't learned from my mistakes. But another part of me thinks that what I did in both instances takes integrity. I'm struggling to find the balance. Life isn't black and white. Maybe I can be right and wrong at the same time, but that feels weird.

All my friends and family are building careers and families. I'm insanely jealous. I pretend as though I enjoy living as a unemployed bachelor meeting girls at the bar and doing stupid shit, but I don't. The reality is unless I'm ready to make adult decisions nothing's going to change. Today, I think, was the first time I realized that what I did in 12th grade was wrong.

i'm done

2011-05-28T03:22:00.003-06:00

For a really long time I've been battling my career choice. I'm not so sure that it was a choice but more of a path of life. Any way you slice it, it sucked. Business dudes will suck your blood to get ahead, and nothing repulses me more. Making money is cool by me, but doing it at the expense of someone else's well being is not.

Today, I flat out quit my job. I tactfully told all of the shitty people I worked with to go fuck themselves. I packed up my office, took 14 beers out of the company fridge and went home.

I'm worried about paying ye rent next month, I'm worried about paying for my life for a bit. But at the same time, today has been the best day I can remember in years. I'm happy again. Tomorrow I have plans to take my nephew to the zoo. I can't remember the last time I was this excited for a Saturday. For once it's going to be a completely genuine experience. My mind won't be pre-occupied with business shit. I'll be focused on ensuring my nephew and I have the best day possible.

It all goes back to the post I made on my birthday. Jobs and careers are important, but not the end all be all. Tomorrow I'll need to be conscious of how much money I spend, but I'm probably going to have the best day ever.

Life has a funny way of working out just fine. But, so do cliches.

read this...

2011-05-26T00:00:00.000-06:00

http://stink.ca/post/5815058203/an-open-letter-to-ezra-levant

i wish my bad days were this cool

2011-05-25T21:40:00.000-06:00

i feel like i've been waiting for a while

2011-05-20T15:10:00.001-06:00

peace on the rise

2011-05-17T19:09:00.003-06:00

Ever since I got an iPhone I've realized how amazing it is to have music on you at all times. I started off making tons of play-lists from my existing library but then rediscovered listening to entire albums front to back. I'm been buying lots lately and there's something to be said about listening to an album front to back and getting a sense of the music on a broader scope. I even bought an iPod dock the other day and since then I haven't even really turned my TV on and I've been getting more done around the house just to listen to more music. It took me a while to figure it out.

Chad VanGaalen's new album Diaper Island came out today and it's the first time since Ill Communications I bought an album the day it came out. So glad I did. Going to be a great show at the Sled Island main stage this year.

so awesome

2011-05-17T18:42:00.000-06:00

progress in sports, finally

2011-05-16T12:36:00.002-06:00

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/16/sports/basketball/nba-executive-says-he-is-gay.html

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncb/columns/story?columnist=oneil_dana&id=6488036

nails it again

2011-05-16T00:31:00.001-06:00

nails it

2011-05-15T08:11:00.001-06:00

lucky lager and kurt vile gets you this...

2011-05-11T21:38:00.000-06:00

I came to the realization a few months ago that personal happiness and positivity isn't something that's inherent. I'm sure there's biologists that can prove that certain people have the ability to be happier than others based on chemical balances etc., but ultimately, it's pretty similar to success (or you could argue, synonymous, but the definition of success is entirely arbitrary and something I've also been giving a lot of thought). Those that work harder get more out of it. So with this realization came the decision to no longer be sad or negative.

Sure, certain situations lend themselves to negative feelings automatically, but how you chose to approach those situations and respond to them will help define the outcome, the vantage point and you as a person. So I made a point to wake up every day and make an effort. I chose to see the glass half full, I chose to eat healthier, take the stairs (metaphorically speaking); stuff that is scientifically proven to contribute to positive lives.

Most importantly though, I made the decision that this level of personal happiness and growth (that cliche makes me want to punch myself) shouldn't be, and wouldn't be tied to one person or relationship. That I, for once in my life, was entirely independent from anyone's decisions. Whether or not I liked those decisions, agreed with them, help make them; they no longer impacted my ability to be happy, have a good day, enjoy my life.

So once I came to this realization, I then thought about what was making me unhappy, what I wanted out of my life. It kept coming back to the word success. I thought I wasn't successful; but I was engaging in social comparison. That person has a BMW-successful, that person has a nice house-successful, that guys has a hot wife-successful. But then I realized these things (although I want them all, but maybe not a BMW, they're kind of lame) weren't the definition of success in the relative meaning of it tying into happiness. So I re-evaluated what success meant to me. It was family, relationships, enjoying moments.

Again, all of this sounds so cliche, but it made be realize how intangible a corner office is. It was no longer relevant to what I was trying to accomplish. Sure, I want to have a job I'm passionate about, do alright for myself with, but I realized that relationships were more valuable and more integral to the final goal. That building a comfortable life with great people was more valuable than anything I could ever afford.

So off I went armed with a new perspective. With it came a new air of confidence and I started meeting new people, developing new relationships. It was great. It made me feel as though I was on to something, making headway. But then, today, since all of this internal processing, I saw someone I hadn't see in a while. I saw the person that made me think about this stuff.

One thing I've noticed about stepping further into my 30's is that innocuous injuries tend to linger a little longer. I hurt my finger about 4 months ago and it refuses to get better. Every now and then I'll hit it the wrong way putting my hand in my pocket, answering my phone etc. I'm constantly re-injuring it and delaying the healing process. No matter how hard I try to fix it, nothing seems to work.

Maybe my finger will always hurt. Or maybe not.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=enTY6AITe1Q

i love sandwiches

2011-05-10T15:36:00.000-06:00

snl boner

2011-05-08T12:21:00.002-06:00

Anyone else watch this on Saturday Night Live last night? Maybe it was a combination of lack of sleep, exhaustion and boredom, but that could possibly have been one of the sexiest musical performances I've ever seen. I'm not going to download any of her music or even watch this video more than once because I'm sure if I dive too far in I'll realize her music probably sucks and she's not that hot. Discuss.

ever wonder what's wrong with America?

2011-05-04T11:38:00.003-06:00

Yesterday I found this video on Gawker, and it's probably the most amazing/disturbing thing I've ever watched in my life. Then this morning, while reading Deadspin, I came across this. It's the exact opposite side of the idiot spectrum, but both accurately depict the nauseating stench that's coming across the American border right now.

This is the original email strain from this guy. Just as some background info, he was an assistant manager for me last year. I was not hiring him back as an assistant manager per the board members' request. I was, however, offering him a position as a lifeguard.
[sic]'d and [Redacted]

Subject: Lifeguard position
————————————

From: [Redacted]
Date: Wed, Apr 13, 2011 at 2:22 PM
To: [Redacted]

————-,

I have to give my final list of guards to the board and I never got confirmation on whether or not you would like to work as a guard this summer. Is this something you are interested in? Please let me know as soon as possible so I can send my final list.

Thank you,

[Redacted]

And here's his response:

From: [Redacted]
Date: Tue, Apr 26, 2011 at 9:34 PM
To: [Redacted]

[Redacted],

I apologize for getting back to you a few weeks after your previous email. This semester I am employed by BMW as a co-op/intern, handling operations and performing various functions related to test car builds and the testing and eventual release/implementation of new content in upcoming series releases. This is a highly coveted internship that, due to my business prowess, especially that concerning the analysis of different hypotheticals, financial situations, and if-then relationships hinging on international investments, I was able to easily secure without having to bat even a single eye lash.

I have been offered a second internship with BMW, a profoundly respected world leader in luxury automobile manufacturing, for this upcoming summer and fall semesters. Obviously, looking to significantly enhance my resume to a level enabling me to one day run corporate America, I will be returning to this prestigious multinational corporation. Therefore, returning to the pool for another summer would be like Apple CEO Steve Jobs returning to Foot Locker for summer employment, especially seeing as that returning to the pool would mean being a subordinate to a woman of below average intelligence with the responsibility of teaching "ghetto" school children various topics and subjects that they couldn't care less about. This would be the equivalent of Bill Gates (Microsoft CEO, in case you were unaware) applying to work as a personal computer salesperson in a local Best Buy retail store.

I was never truly interested in managing this summer, but the absence of a job offer for a management position was both alarming and unjust. This is simply a matter of principle. In over half a decade of working at the pool, I can state with much certainty and conviction that I have never encountered a "manager" with such appalling naivety and laughable incompetence until the commencement of your employment the summer prior to the one upcoming. I understand you are a school teacher and not a professor or employed in a position that requires significant knowledge in any particular field of study, so maybe my criticism is unfair. Nonetheless, I still provided much guidance and support as you learned the ropes of managing at the pooll at the rate of a snail in the Indy 500. Did I ever complain? No. Why? Due to the fact that I am a professional and, given my advanced knowledge of operations at the pool, I wanted to bestow certain bits of my wealth of knowledge upon you.

After vacuuming the pool during early mornings last summer, coming in to work when you were unable to do so, and providing more than adequate instruction and tutelage to you, regardless of your overall lack of competence concerning very basic managerial responsibilities, one would expect that you would question the absence of my name on a list of eligible assistant managers for this summer - a list that includes two people that have YET to serve as assistant managers of the Pool. However, did you do so when informed by [Redacted]? Of course not. You showed no genuine interest in this rather odd and unexpected situation.

As I previously mentioned, though feel it is necessary to do so again for reiteration purposes, I provided guidance and instruction to you as necessary, which was a more than commonplace occurrence last summer. By that accord, I am entirely offended and utterly disgusted in your lack of concern for this situation. Do I need a summer job at a local neighborhood pool? No, as I continue my employment as a respected intern/co-op for a dominant player in the international luxury automotive industry. However, this represents a matter of principle and ethics. Unfortunately, you undoubtedly lack even the most basic understanding of these aforementioned concepts.

I look forward to a summer of continued professional development and resume building, as I add invaluable work experience to a resume already including a highly sought after education at a business school with the #1 International Business program in the entire nation. On that note, I encourage you to do the same with respect to a job coveted only by high school and college students. I implore you to enjoy making a salary that barely exceeds the poverty line and garnering the respect of professionals, I mean 3rd grade students, in your "profession."

Best Regards,

[Redacted]

————————————
BMW Co-op/intern
University of South Carolina
International Business, Finance, Spanish

3.5 years

2011-04-26T16:15:00.009-06:00

I've really tried to refrain from posting anything sports related on here; I'm more than aware that my obsession isn't widely shared. That being said, I'm really intrigued by the impending NFL strike. Before you quickly stop reading this, it's more interesting than you may think.

Someone once wrote this fantastic piece on the parallels between the NFL and a socialist regime and what a juxtaposition that the countries most popular sport posed to the hardened American belief in capitalism. I've tried to google this article to re-read it, but haven't had any luck.

Sport financials have always been oddly curious to me. Even as a kid I was more interested in team payrolls and personal salaries than stats and wins. I think there's a common belief that players in all sports are overpaid babies, but I think the reality couldn't be further from the truth.

Us, as fans, pay for tickets, merchandise and everything else. As such, sports has turned into a multi-billion dollar business and that revenue needs to find a home. While it's completely unbalanced that a teacher or nurse is making $60,000 a year and pro-athlete makes $5,000,000, who are we to say they don't deserve that? If they were to only make $60,000 a year, that would leave $4,940,000 left to go the owners. The problem isn't the players, but it's a capitalist culture that has gotten so out of balance it's difficult to make sense of anymore.

Anyways, the current NFL strike is so appealing because it's the one sport that has seen revenues rise so significantly over the past decade or two while supplying their players with the least amount of guaranteed money and benefits. Rather than try to continue on the same revenue sharing path that fostered so much monetary success, they're looking to create larger net margins for the owners. Ironic that America's biggest sport is now starting to parallel an economic culture that has creating the largest class discrepancies in the history of the western world. Gone is the parallel to socialism and what's left is a multi-million dollar PR campaign to help the NFL mask their greed.

Rant rant over. But please, I really encourage you to read the following two articles. For anyone that's considered a pro-athlete to be some unintelligent, rich, womanizing, non-contributing member of society prepare to have your opinion changed.

http://deadspin.com/#!5795895/dear-roger-goodell-this-is-what-a-typical-nfl-career-looks-like

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/news/story?id=6388708

...

2011-04-17T21:36:00.003-06:00

A few weeks ago I received some poignant advice. I think one of the biggest signs of maturity is recognizing that at times others advice is more applicable than you may think. I can think of three occasions were someone said something to me in passing but their comments rang true and never escaped me. This latest comment was about appreciating close relationships and how individual happiness is relative to how successful those relationships are.

I'm rarely cheesy. In fact, I find it unnaturally uncomfortable. But tomorrow I turn 32. Birthdays are great. They provide retrospective thought; which I love. This year for my birthday I've realized that life is great and that's because of other people. Like I said, I'm awkwardly affectionate, but in order to even know about this blog, you need to know me well. So to this small audience, thank you. I'm optimistic about living a great life and have only my closest relationships to thank for it.

Fuck the Canucks. Go Flames.

this is the greatest thing i've ever watched

2011-04-12T15:49:00.002-06:00

2011-04-08T15:52:00.004-06:00

With it being Friday, I've accomplished very little at work today. I've spent most of my day designing a new tattoo and reading sports articles. I came across this article today in Sport Illustrated about a 10 year old kid that withdrew $8500 out of his college fund to buy Refrigerator Perry's 1985 Chicago Bears Super Bowl ring to give back to him. This story fucking boggles my mind. I have a soft spot for cheesy sports stories, but what parent allows their child to spend $8500 on anything? And the thank you was 2 autographed jerseys? Shouldn't the Chicago Bears give the family their $8500 back? To me that would make a good story, cause right now this story kind of sucks. It's depressing that a former athlete is okay with taking $8500 away from a 10 year old. Was this supposed to make me feel better?

Anyways, I love anything related to championship rings. There's two things in this world I want to own more than anything, and one of them is a championship ring. I'd give anything to have one. When I worked for a baseball team, we were two outs away from winning a championship, and I would have gotten one for being in the front office. Instead our closer blew a 2 run lead, and I'm like every other chump without a ring. I also want to own a Tom Ford tuxedo. These are the two things in the world I want to own most. I want to wear them together and get drunk.

Flo rida

2011-04-07T10:08:00.000-06:00

2 more sleeps!!

2011-03-30T23:32:00.002-06:00

If I watch this promo video one more time, my eyes will probably start bleeding. I keep getting douche bumps. This is easily the most excited I've ever been for a Blue Jays season. I think of myself as a Mets fan first, but since coming out as a Blue Jay fan last summer, I've really embraced it. Every baseball season, I like baseball twice as much as a did the summer before. By the time I'm in my 60's I'm going to be doing nothing but watching baseball and reading Baseball Prospectus and Baseball Abstract all winter. This winter, I taught myself sabermatrics, so I can understand baseball writers on twitter better, but I'm also pretty anxious to drop WAR and OPS stats into actual real life person conversations. Friday is going to rule.

I won!!

2011-03-29T13:41:00.007-06:00

Dudes. The Calgary Parking Authority called yesterday to inform me that they reviewed my complaint, and after a thorough investigation, it turns out the parking enforcer was incorrect in the time he stated he marked my tires, and my ticket has been canceled. Totally made my day yesterday. BUT, this morning, I got another call from the top dog with a long drawn out apology, and he also said that because of my complaint, SIX more tickets were canceled for that day. I was like a parking ticket martyr. This guy totally killed me with kindness and I felt so terrible that I said mean things about the CPA, till I get my next ticket.

The point of this blog isn't to update on the monotony of day-to-day activities, and I'm trying to avoid that, but I beat the Calgary Parking Authority. To the Ship!

yeah right

2011-03-27T13:57:00.002-06:00

Sunday

2011-03-27T12:06:00.004-06:00

I fucking hate Sundays. If I had one realistic wish for life, it would be to get over Sunday anxiety. From the moment I wake up, I'm terrified of going to sleep on Sunday nights. I haven't fallen asleep before 3 am on a Sunday night in close to a year. I don't know what it is. I've pyscho analyzed this in so many different directions, but can't figure out the root. Two of my favorite things are 60 minutes and Celebrity Apprentice, so Sunday nights should be a dream. Fuck. I'm seriously so fucking sick of this.

Anyways. Every Sunday morning, I do the exact same thing. I lay face down in my bed, in the complete dark, and listen to this album. I only listen to this album on Sundays. It appropriately captures the ominous mood of the day. One day, I'll like Sundays.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=malJUMz2A9Y

good chune

2011-03-25T21:21:00.001-06:00

Friday

2011-03-25T20:43:00.009-06:00

Dudes. I'm bored. Like currently, and in the metaphorical sense. Seriously, what's a single man that lives alone supposed to do with himself. Friday's are a challenge. I don't want to go out to bars, and as much as I love watching sports, I really don't want to do it by myself. I've thought about getting a dog lately. I think it would be grounding, and give me something to talk to, and laugh at. But there's often days where I forget to feed myself, so I'm not sure it's fair to subject another being to a life of irresponsibility.

I recently moved to a new neighborhood, in a whole new part of town. It's given me the ability to explore and granted me a refreshing feeling of anonymity that I previously didn't have. I've really taken to dinning alone. Like dressing up, sitting down in a nice restaurant and reading the newspaper. Is this me embracing a life of loneliness? Is the next step a tweed gatsby, overcoat, umbrella and feeding birds in a park? Did I somehow skip the marriage part of becoming a widower?

I don't want to be bored anymore.

girls!

2011-03-24T15:19:00.002-06:00

A week or so ago, I came across a friend's blog on Facebook, and she's been doing a series called "Adventures in Online Dating". It's so unbelievably funny, I keep hoping she'd post more. I ended up taking down this profile a while back because I was bored with it, but now inspired by her amazing work, I've brought it back. Online dating is amazing and it's seriously one of the most fascinating ways to kill time. Not because you're having great conversation or talking with people you could see yourself dating, but because it's totally mind blowing to see how other humans act, who they are, what they want from life, and who they're looking to meet. It provides this bizarre window into people's lives and whether or not it's sociological curiosity or just plain creepiness, I enjoy looking.

For those that have never spent time on Plenty of Fish, I'll give you the rundown of what type of girls you can expect to meet:

15%- the boring and lonely but attractive girls
They have a good job. Own their own condo/bungalow. Like to travel. Go to yoga. Wine with the girls. Love their families. Have a golden retriever or lab. Like Dave Matthews Band. Can wear heals or jeans (almost all of them write that). Sick of the bar scene. No smokers. Looking for their partner.

25%- the just moved here from BC
Super into quading. Love every type of music from Jay-Z to 3 Days Grace. Love to go to the pub and watch hockey. Worst dressed out all of the categories. Usually have teal logo t-shirt, two-toned hair, and puka shell necklaces. Looking for someone to have fun with!

20%-the just moved here from Saskatchewan
Profile picture, or at least one of their pictures is them at a Riders game dressed in green. Love country music. 4X4ing. Going to the pub. Looking to date, but nothing serious.

10%-the just moved here from the East Coast
Moved here for work. Miss their friends and families. Not sure if they like the big city. Not here to hook up. Looking for somebody to show them around the city.

5%-nurses
Currently going to Mount Royal for nursing, or just finished nursing at Mount Royal. Work weird hours so don't have time to meet men. No smokers. Looking for a secure man with a good job. Sometimes hot.

15%-karaoke girls (my fav)
The craziest of the bunch. Have tattoos and piercings. LOVE karaoke. Own a motorcycle. LOVE karaoke. Just like to have fun. Have a job, but not a career (almost all of them write that). LOVE karaoke. Wear a fedora in their profile picture.

8%-metal chicks
Tattooed. Pierced. Bad ass. I'm terrified of them so I don't really investigate too much.

2%-normal endearing girls
Cool profile photo. Good looking. Interesting personal write up. Good taste in music. Well dressed. Profile usually disappears after a day.

Like I said. I'm not into this to meet anyone. In fact, I'm certain it's best that I don't meet anyone on a website. I could never admit that to myself. Alpha-male insecurities and all. Also, can you imagine how awkward that first meeting would be? I'm way to socially awkward to handle that. But what I do want to get out of this is some good blogging material. So here's the deal (again here's the profile)-I'm not going to contact any girls unless they contact me first. I won't humiliate anyone. BUT, I am going to post what some girls write on here provided it meets those guidelines. Previously, in 3 months I got zero responses. Last night I posted it about 8 o'clock and got 5. Why the difference, I'm not sure. Maybe girls are a little more desperate heading into spring.

WWIII

2011-03-23T16:20:00.004-06:00

A co-worker and I currently share a underground parking spot at my office for free. If I wanted my own, I'd have to pay $200 month. Rather than do that, I get a free spot 2-3 days a week and have to park on the street the days she gets the spot. It's free parking for up to 2 hours on the street, and I swear to god it's turned into a full fledged war with the Calgary Parking Authority. My car registration is about to expire, so I had to clean up all of my parking tickets before I could renew, this cost my just over $600. That's for a year, so works out to just over $50 a month rather than paying the $200 a month for my own spot, but it's still a complete kick in the testicles.

Anyways, two weeks ago, I paid the fines, and vowed I'd never get another parking ticket. I started parking in view of my window, and bought an alarm clock so every hour and 50 minutes I go out and move my car forward 6 inches so those cocksuckers can't see the chalk mark on my tires.

Last week, I was in a meeting and it lasted longer than I thought, I came back to my office, and my timer was at 2 hours and 25 minutes, I looked out my window and I had a ticket. Those fuckers got me by 25 minutes. They won the battle, but not the war.

The last two nights, I've been staying up later than normal to watch the Daily Show. With all the shit going on in Lybia and Japan, I really wanted to see how the Daily Show would handle it. May seem beside the point, but this morning I woke up later than normal, and it's relevant to those fuckers at the Parking Authority. I hit the snooze button twice, so I was 16 minutes behind my normal schedule. I normally leave my house at 8:10, but this morning I got into my car, checked the time and it was 8:17 (made up 9 minutes this morning-impressive). But because of my 8:17 departure, I parked my car shortly after 8:30, hustled down the street and into the elevator, and arrived in my office at 8:35. I checked my phone when I got out of the elevator because I have a total complex about being even 5 minutes late for work.

So, 5 minutes late for work, and I begin my day. Turns out it was my day to park on the street, but the girl I share my spot with walked today. I set my alarm for 1 hour and 50 minutes, and then I was going to go out and move it underground. That would give me until 10:25 to move my car. At about 10:15, I glance out my window, and I can see the parking dude writing me a ticket. I fucking barrelled out of my office, down the elevator and caught him just as he was walking away from my car.

The conversation went like this:

me: why are you writing me a ticket

cocksucker: you've been parked here for over 2 hours

me: fucking impossible

cs: excuse me?

me: (lights cigarette) I parked my car just after 8:30, it's 10:18 now, I have at least 12 minutes to move it

cs: excuse me?

me: I've got this down, trust me, you're wrong

cs: I marked your tires at 8:05, two hours would be 10:05

me: like I said, fucking impossible. (blows cigarette smoke in his face) I woke up 16 minutes late this morning, I was in the shower at 8:05, didn't park here till shortly after 8:30.

cs: how can you be so sure? I'm never wrong.

me: trust me, I'm 100% positive

cs: I marked your tires at 8:05, I'm sorry, the tickets written, you'll have to pay the $50. (snickers)

me: no no no. Fucking impossible (hands ticket back). Not paying it.

cs: sorry sir, whether you keep the ticket or not, you'll have to pay it. Not my problem anymore.

At this point I went off on some authority tangent about him arbitrarily deciding what time he marked my tires, when in fact I know I'm correct. I then asked him how to file a complaint, and he scurried out of there terrified I was going to hurt him.

I had to file my complain via email, still infuriated and unable to stop shaking this is what I wrote, verbatim:

I'd like to file an appeal on ticket # 46..... On the ticket it states that my vehicle was marked at 8:05 am. This is mathematically impossible. I left my house at 8:17 this morning, and parked my car shortly after 8:30 and I have 3 witnesses that can attest to this. I realize I have an extensive history of parking tickets in the past in and around this same location, all of which I have paid because I was in the wrong. It is unacceptable this officer lied about what time he marked my tires not to mention he was rude and abrasive when I tried to discuss this with him.

The Calgary Parking Authority is incredulous when trying to deal with these situations. Parking Enforcers can ticket at will, but it's our time and money that is wasted if they are wrong. There is such thing as human error, and we, the public, shouldn't be forced to sacrifice our time and energy for their mistakes.

As someone that just spent over $600 paying parking tickets, I believe I deserve the respect of having this issue responded to in a timely manner. As mentioned, it is impossible that I was parked in this zone for 2 hours. Impossible. Could never have happened, yet when trying to explain this to the ticketing officer was treated rudely, and was clearly lied to about what time he actually marked the tires.

So here it is folks. My first official rant since returning to blogging. You better believe I'm going to be going to court to fight this one. Is an afternoon off work worth the $50 in paying the ticket? Not even close. But I'm so god damn certain about the time (because I live a pretty unhappy life, and cling to time in hopes that things may get better at some point) that I'm going to do everything in my power to prove this. Affidavit's from co-workers? Done. Log in records from my work computer? Done. This is war. It's me versus the Calgary Parking Authority, and I'm going to win.